Yes, today’s times are very testing for everyone. Meditator or not, every one of us has those moments and situations when we’re close to boiling over. We’ve reached the tipping point. The proverbial straw is about to break the camel’s back very soon. We’re having what seems to be one of our worst days. And the biggest problem is that the other person seems to be blind to what is a straightforward case and the right thing to do. You can’t seem to make him or her see your point of view and simply cannot fathom how such people even exist or what drives their thinking.


Sounds familiar? We have some answers, but only because we have a little bit of experience as meditators, not because we’re free of such situations or states of mind ourselves at all times.


Building the awareness within


The first step, of course, is to be intimately aware when you’re about to boil over or lose it completely. Doesn’t matter if it happens, more important is whether you’re able to detect it and acknowledge that you’re getting into that situation. Or better still, over time, be able to understand the entire range of your emotions starting from the slightest sign of irritation and thereafter, progressively through to your boiling point. Yes, emotional regulation, as it is called is well researched by us and we have excellent scientific backing and details that you can read here.


This comes with experience and especially the experience of the regular practice of meditation. When we meditate in Sahaja, we transfer our awareness clearly to the Spirit or inner being – it becomes the entity that watches ourselves all the time. From being a confused person who may associate himself or herself with one’s ego, mind or intellect, we are able to precisely associate ourselves with our Spirit. The Spirit within is designed and built to be the detached witness capable of watching ourselves and all our emotions objectively and reactively.


So all you need is to work on making it the awareness controller within you.


Practicing detachment


Next up, is to train yourself to detach from people and situations. Ideally, you should be able to do this whenever you want and need, but this takes time. How? Always cut some slack for the reality that everyone is entitled to their viewpoint and that we cannot understand the motivation or reasons behind their thoughts or actions. At some point, we’ve got to accept this fully and move on, especially if we’ve tried to reason with them and it hasn’t worked.


Very often, when we take a pause and put ourselves entirely in the other person’s shoes and trace out their line of thinking given their background, passion, fears, anxiety, and insecurity, things look much better and we’re able to see what’s causing them to react the way they do.


And that’s the real win for us. Not the winning of the argument, rather, knowing that we’ve managed to see what they cannot see or understand about themselves. That is an asset that we can use for life and with many people. This new tense situation should add to enhancing that skill within us.


But be sure not to rub it in, you then lose it’s value entirely and the situation will probably get worse.


The powers of introspection that Sahaja provides definitely helps sharpen our ability to see through others’ rationale, thinking and their emotions. That’s why we recommend that we always start with ourselves in developing this gift – yes, it is a gift and innately built within us – we only need to discover and nurture it.


Emotional Intelligence is another topic we’ve researched in depth and you can read here about it.


The other way to detach is to question the value, relevance or importance of the outcome, situation or person in our lives. All of these are limited beyond a point. Life is after all filled with a diversity of people, experiences and situations – this one is just another of them. Is it really worth losing it over one argument, one person or one situation? To be able to do this to people close to us such as family or a trusted friend is much harder because our feelings and emotions are entangled with theirs.


But here’s the truth – we’re our own Spirit and Master in life – no one and nothing should matter beyond a point.


Rising above the mental plane


The next strategy is to be able to realize that all arguments and disagreements happen on a plane that is beneath the one we can rise to. We’ve talked about a higher consciousness and this plane is the one we strive to reach every day and remain as long as we can. Thoughts do not exist on this plane and hence rationalizing, arguing with ourselves or even emotions cannot exist in this realm. Plus, when in this realm we are continuously replenishing the vital energy inside us.


In the construct of Sahaja meditation, we often use the phrase “Rising above the 6th center or chakra”, and into the realm of the 7th chakra. Yes, we have this ability. And a lot of it happens automatically when our inner energy rises, lifting us into this higher plane of consciousness. When in the higher plane, things on the lower plane seem easier to dismiss, forgive and forget. Many times, it almost seems like we’re watching those fighting and arguing, while we feel nothing.


Rising above mental debates, viewpoints and arguments can be difficult if we’re passionate or attached or too knowledgeable about a subject. Yes, for meditators, being over-educated on any topic is a risk – it comes in the way of detachment unless we reconfigure our knowledge to know it’s limitations on the plane of the 6th chakra – the fact that it does not apply or loses its significance beyond this plane.


Cutting down the reactions and counter-reactions


This is the most important one to exercise. We need to firmly etch this truth in our minds – any reaction, no matter whether it is positive or negative to a hot debate that seems to go on and on is harmful beyond a point. The only solution that works is to cut out all reactions and go radio silent. Then, detach, rise above the mental plane and move on. This works like a charm but is indeed hard to practice.


Of late, some avenues where this is even harder is repeated email responses and the infamous social media forums. People can’t just seem to let go of the chance to chime in and participate. The best and most balanced people get sucked in until the situation has severed some valuable relationships, caused hurt and anger. Recovery then takes much longer.


So, use your Spam filter for emails to direct such conversations to spam. Unsubscribe. Turn off the notifications, especially on your smartphone. Go meditate and rise higher.


For meditators, continuing reactions is a bigger blow. That’s because we’re supposed to be self-aware, detach and rise above the debate more easily and we failed. The question then is, what’s the point of our meditation? Probably not much if we react the same way as everyone else who does not have the improved awareness.